For a while I felt that God was calling me towards something, but what that something was I either didn’t know or wasn’t open to hearing it. After attending the Oxford Anglican Cursillo weekend in 2018 this only increased before I was asked by my incumbent if I’d thought about vocation. Adamant I didn’t want to be a priest I started exploring my vocation and after a few months started seeing a Vocations Adviser. A year on and I was preparing for a Bishops’ Advisory Panel (BAP)… yes I know I said not a priest!!
As was the case for many candidates preparing for a summer BAP, COVID-19 and lockdown restrictions made the typical 2.5 day residential no longer possible and the Ministry Division were quick to reassure us that interviews would still go ahead. After Easter it was confirmed that these would be completed online, over two 1 hour interviews.
As the date got closer the nerves increased and those voices of doubt started to creep back in – was this really what I was called to be doing? Having been furloughed at Easter and made redundant 2 weeks before my interviews it would seem that the way had been cleared – but what if it wasn’t to be? I took the week off from all my church related duties in the hope of finding rest and space to prepare. I had hoped for an interview day early in the week, getting it over and done with quickly, but they were scheduled for Thursday. In the end this worked out well – it allowed me to relax with my family, de-stress (to some extent) and also meant I had less time to wait for the result.
I’d read in another candidate’s account of the interviews that one interview was more intense than the other, for me (thankfully) this was the second. The first interview covered: leadership and collaboration, faith, spirituality, mission and evangelism and quality of mind. I was relaxed throughout, being able to talk passionately about my ministries with the young people in our Benefice and those on the fringes of community. Only having an hour was disappointing and I heard the phrase ‘I’d like to hear more about that but we don’t have time’ more than I would have liked. It was the nature of these types of interviews and I knew it wouldn’t reflect negatively on me.
After a break for lunch it was time for the second interview covering: personality and character, vocation, ministry in the Church of England and relationships. This meant that the interview started by picking apart my anxiety and confidence – my greatest weakness – and I fully understood the need for doing this. This took a lot out of me, and I could’ve done with an hour lie down before tackling the remaining criteria but there wasn’t time for that. I finished the second interview completely knackered, emotional and having no idea how it had gone, but knowing there was nothing I wished I had said and now there was nothing more I could do… but wait. As KFC had recently re-opened that was the treat for the evening.
Then all I could do was wait, as I mentioned earlier the benefit of having my interviews later in the week meant the wait was shorter with D-Day (as I was affectionately calling it) the following Thursday. My DDO was due to find out at 3pm and it was at 2.30pm that time stopped – well at least it felt like it did. I was so grateful when the call came through at 3.25pm and the wait was over – I’d been recommended for training. The rest of the day was spent ringing family and friends so share the news with them.
So, I will start my training at the College of the Resurrection, Mirfield in September (COVID and lockdown restrictions allowing).
Here’s to the next part of the adventure………
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